


The Truth on Mars

by Aedyn



Series: The Martian - Love & Angst in Space [1]
Category: The Martian (2015)
Genre: Angst, Complicated Relationships, Drama & Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Series, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-03-18 03:20:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13673187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aedyn/pseuds/Aedyn
Summary: Watney has been safely back aboard the Hermes for a month, but Lewis is still feeling guilt over having left him behind.  She wants to make it up to him, and help him forget how alone he was, but will he let her just walk away afterward?Part of a series of works that look at Lewis/Watney at different points.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos are appreciated it if you enjoyed reading it!
> 
> Feedback also welcome.
> 
>  
> 
> 3/32019: Been crazy busy with work and fighting writer’s block but still working on the next chapter. I work on a lot of stories at once and go back and forth between them, so sometimes I'll get a kick on one story and knock out several chapters at once and ignore the others a bit. Rest assured though I am working on all of my posted stories!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this pairing isn’t popular, but it was one I felt like exploring. Hope you enjoy.

Watney stared out the window of the common room into the vast expanse of space.  He’d been back on board the Hermes for almost a month, but sometimes, like he had tonight, he swoke up thinking he was still alone on Mars.  When that happened, he couldn’t go back to sleep.  He had to get up, walk around, convince himself where he was, make sure it wasn’t a dream.  He’d woken up from plenty of dreams of rescue while alone on the red planet.  Each time, it was a relief to discover it was now in fact real.  Leaning his head against the glass, he simply watched the stars spin by. 

It was strange being around people again.  He’d had an entire planet to himself for over a year, which had given him plenty of time to his thoughts.  Perhaps too much time.  He’d hoped all that time would help him with one particular thought he’d had even before they touched down on Mars, but even a year of solitude hadn’t been able to shake it from his head, and he knew that was going to cause him nothing but problems.  If anything, Mars had only reinforced the irrefutable truth of that singular thought.

“Fucking Mars,” he said to himself with a troubled smile.

***

Lewis padded her way almost stealthily down the hall.  The Hermes was quiet except for the soft flow coming from the air vents and the ever-present hum of the spinning ring.  Passing Johanssen’s room, she heard the hushed sound of Beck’s laughter.  He was still trying to stay quiet, despite the fact everyone knew he was in there with her.  It made her smile that they thought they were so clever.  True, they were breaking a dozen rules, but she was glad they’d found each other, and she was certainly not following the rules herself at that moment.  She continued, quickening her pace before she could talk herself out of it.  When she reached Watney’s door she stopped and let out a deep breath, steeling her nerves. 

It had been a month since they’d rescued him, and while there had been questions, official reports, and debriefs, she and Watney had not yet sat down and talked about what had happened.  And she needed to talk about it.  They needed to deal with the emotion behind it all.  Yes, they’d rescued him, but she still carried the guilt of leaving him behind.  She rapped lightly on the door.  There was no answer.  She knocked again, louder.  Still no answer. 

Her brow furrowed.  Where the hell was he?  She decided to try the common area; she knew he’d been having some trouble sleeping.  Then she was not surprised when she entered the room to see him leaned up against the window.

“Watney?” she said, her voice tinged with concern.

He turned and smiled at her, one of those trademark Watney grins.  Speaking of the devil, he thought to himself.  “Hey, Commander.  What are you doing up so late?”

“About to ask you the same,” she replied. 

“Just another one of those damn dreams,” he said with a shrug.  “It’s fine.”

She nodded and stepped up beside him.  “I went by your room.”

His eyes widened.  “Yeah?  Something I can do for you?”

Letting out a deep breath, she nodded.  “Can we go back to your room and talk?”

“Sure,” he replied.  Lewis in his room – that was a thought that had frequently come up in his time on Mars.

They walked back to his room, him leading the way.  Once inside, he closed the door behind him.

He grabbed the chair from his desk and pulled it out for her.  She took a seat, and Watney sat on the edge of his bunk directly across from her.  Her hands were folded in her lap, and she stared at them a moment before she looked across the small space between them and locked eyes with him.  In the month he’d been back he had shown dramatic improvement.  He’d put weight back on, become his usual comical self, and he’d showered quite a few times. 

Watney could see her face was pale, and her eyes held a certain unmistakable sadness.  “Commander, are you ok?”

She smiled uneasily.  Her heart was racing, and her skin was cold.  “Can we talk?  Really talk?”

“Of course,” he said, not quite sure what she meant.

“I um… wanted to talk about everything,” she said, her voice softer than he’d ever heard it. 

“Everything?” he asked curiously, studying her face.  He’d never seen her like this.  He looked at her hands, they were clenched so tightly together her knuckles had gone white.  They were trembling. 

“About me leaving you behind,” she replied.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.  “Commander,” he began thoughtfully, “you didn’t leave me behind.  This was not your fault.”

“But I did.” 

He sighed and rubbed his forehead.  “You fucking rescued me, Lewis.  I’m alive because of you.”  He pointed at her to emphasize his point.  “You’re my hero.”

“But all that you went through,” she said.  She had tried many times to imagine what it had been like for him:  alone for over a year.  But she knew anything she imagined was just a shadow of the truth.

“Made me a stronger person,” he replied with a cocky grin.  “I know that’s cliché, but it’s true.”

Her face went serious again.  “What was it like down there?”

He let out deep sigh as he pondered the question.  “Exciting, terrifying, fun, boring.  It wasn’t one thing,” he said.  “It was the experience of a lifetime to be sure.”

“Didn’t you feel alone?”

“Sure,” he said.  “First man alone on an entire planet.  Something I hope never to repeat.  But hey, I’ll be famous now.  In a hundred years kids in school will read about the exploits of 'Mark Watney:  The Man, The Myth, The Kickass Botanist.'” He smiled, trying to put her more at ease.  "Yes, that will be the title of my autobiography.  Do you like it?"

She knew he was trying to put her at ease; humor had always been his go to.  And she knew he didn't blame her, she believed it when he said it, but try as she might, she couldn't convince herself.  

He watched her face closely - the lines around her mouth when she frowned or smiled, the anxiousness in her eyes.  He could swear she was about to cry; surely, she couldn’t feel so much guilt.  Never had he held her the slightest bit accountable for what had happened.  But was that the reason for her nervousness?  Or was is that her heart raced a little bit faster when she looked at him, just as his did when he looked at her?

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice breaking a bit.

Watney looked down at the floor, his shoulders slumped.  He wished he knew how to make this ok for her.

She frowned as it hit her and gave a disheartened laugh.  “And now, I’m hurting you with my guilt.  Way to go, Lewis.”

He just shook his head.  “It wasn’t your fault, Melissa.”  He looked up at her, expecting a flash of anger or surprise in her eyes that he’d said her name, but it wasn’t either of those things.  It was something else entirely, something she’d never let him see before and that he feared he would never see again.

“But I did leave you,” she said.  “You can keep saying I didn’t…” A single tear rolled down her cheek.

“Hey, hey,” he reached out and placed his hands over hers still clasped in her lap.  “If you need me to forgive you, then you’re forgiven.  A thousand times over.”

“I need something else,” she replied.

“Anything.  How can I fix this for you?”

She untangled one of her hands from his and tentatively reached up and touched her fingertips to his face.  Watney seemed frozen as she leaned in close until their lips were nearly touching.  “You were alone for so long.”

“I… I was alright,” he said softly, his heart beginning to race, blood rushing to his cheeks.  "I mean, except for the disco music."  He chuckled.  

She couldn't help but smile.  “I want to help you forget how lonely you were,” she said and then kissed him, softly at first but then with increasing eagerness.  Her tongue hesitantly tested his lips, and they were quick to open for her exploration.

Watney returned her kiss, caught up in the moment but then suddenly pulled back when her hand on his face began to tremble.  “You don’t have to do this.  You know I want to.  I…”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her forehead to his.  “I know.  I want to.  Just this once, Mark, I have an excuse to justify us.  Only for tonight.  Then we never speak of it again.  That’s the rule.”

“Ok,” he said.  He knew he shouldn’t agree; it was foolish at best.  He convinced himself he could follow her rule, but he knew it was lie.  He suspected she knew as well. “Just tonight.”

She stood up and kicked the chair into the corner out of the way.  As she walked over to his desk she slid off her black jacket and let it fall to the floor, revealing a black tank-top underneath.   She faced the desk with her back to him.  Through the small mirror above the desk, she could see him watching her every move.  She smiled, and his reflection smiled back.  Turning around, she sat on the edge of the desk.

She grabbed the hem of the tank-top and slowly, deliberately pulled it off.  Mark watched, his desire for her building as first she revealed her stomach, then the pale milky skin of her breasts as they spilled out the bottom of the tank-top.  Then the tank-top was completely gone and lying on the floor.  Then she kicked off her shoes and began to push down her sweatpants slowly.  The curves of her thighs were enticing.

 “Come here,” she said.

Watney nearly leapt across the space between them and grabbed her waist and pulled her against him as he pressed his lips to hers.  She yelped with surprise and wrapped her arms around his neck.  Not just her hands, but her entire body was shaking, but not out of fear or uncertainty.  He kissed her neck, her shoulder, down her collarbone as she ran her fingers through his hair.  Her breath caught in her throat and she threw her head back when his lips wrapped around her breast.  He teased her nipple lightly with the tip of his tongue, eliciting moans of delight from her.  Returning to her mouth he kissed her again, sucking on eagerly on her tongue when she pressed it into his mouth. 

He turned her around so that he could see her in face in the mirror.  One of his hands cupped her breast, gently kneading it as the other came around her side, trailing lightly across the silky skin of her stomach and then he moved it down between her thighs.  Her eyes closed, and she bit into her lower lip when his palm pressed against her mound.  He could feel her warmth against his skin and her wetness.  Watching her face, he gently pressed a finger between her lips.  Then he pressed against her clit, rubbing it with slow strokes as he pinched her hardened nipple between his thumb and forefinger.  Touching her was as amazing as he’d thought it would be – he wanted to explore every part of her.

She whimpered, a sound that only turned him on even more.  Releasing her breast, he brushed her hair to the side, so he could kiss her shoulder, then her neck.  He nipped tenderly at the soft flesh of her throat as he rubbed harder against her clit, his fingers soaked with her wetness.  Then he slid his finger down further and pushed inside her.  She reached a hand up to cradle his head as he continued his attention on her neck.

“Fuck me, Mark,” she moaned hungrily.

Removing his hand from her, he slowly slid it up her stomach and over her breast, leaving a trail of wetness that quickly grew cool on her fevered skin.  Pressing his fingers to her lips, he looked at her in the mirror expectantly.

Wrapping her lips around his index and forefinger, she sucked on them, tasting herself, all the while keeping her eyes locked with his in the mirror.  Her tongue worked across his fingers until she had licked them clean.  She then released his fingers with a devilish grin.

Putting a hand on her back, he pushed her forward so that she leaned over the desk until her face was pressed against the cool surface.  He quickly stripped off his clothes and threw them in the corner.  Grabbing her hips, he pressed his cock against her entrance.

“Melissa?” he asked questioningly.  He was terrified that she would regret this, but he had no desire to stop. 

She didn’t answer, simply nodded, trembling with anticipation and then exhaled when she felt his cock push inside her and she moaned loudly, digging her nails into the surface of the desk.    

He pushed hard until he was completely buried inside her, his fingers leaving marks on her sides he was holding her so tight.  For a moment he just waited, feeling her warmth wrapped around him.  Leaning down he placed soft light kisses on her back.  He began to thrust in and out of her.  She was amazingly tight but began to loosen as he built his rhythm. 

“Pull my hair,” she begged.

Watney smiled and then reached up and enlaced his fingers in her long, beautiful red hair.  It felt like silk wrapped around his fingers.  He pulled on it firmly but gently.

“Oh God,” she moaned, bucking back against his cock as it slid in and out of her.  “Harder, Mark.”

He pulled harder, forcing her to lift her head slightly off the table.  With his other hand he slapped her hard on the ass, leaving a large red welt.

“Nnnnngh,” she cried out.

He hit her again, repeatedly, and pulled even more forcefully on her hair, bringing tears to her eyes.  Her excitement was obvious, her body responded to him, to his touch. 

Unexpectedly, he pulled out of her, leaving a void and an aching hunger inside her.  He grabbed her arm, pulled her up, and turned her around.  He pushed her back, not gently, until she was sitting on the desk and leaning back against the mirror.  He moved towards her and she spread her legs for him.  Gripping her hips, he pulled her towards him.  His face was a mask of desire as he shoved his cock in her.  Lewis bit her bottom lip and began to rub her breasts as she watched his face, wrapping her legs around him. 

“Cum for me, Mark,” she purred playfully.  "I want you to cum inside me."  She reached down one hand between her thighs and began to rub herself, keeping her beautiful green-brown eyes locked with his.

Suddenly, he felt her tighten around him, her muscles contracting as she came.  She bit into her lip, hoping to avoid screaming out too loudly as the orgasm shot through her, making her muscles tingle, and her heart pound furiously.  Mark continued to thrust in and out of her as she rode the high and then slowly came down the other side of the wave.

He moaned and began to fuck her faster.  His body tensed up and his eyes closed involuntarily, then suddenly all the tension released and his cock was burning inside her.  He had never wanted anything as much as he wanted her at that moment.  When she grabbed his neck and pulled him in for another kiss, darting her tongue across his lips, he let out a breathless moan.  His body couldn’t resist anymore, and his cum shot deep inside her.  His face contorted as he continued to thrust into her until his cum was running out of her and down the desk.  She grabbed his buttocks, digging her nails in deep as his thrusting began to slow.  When he was exhausted, he opened his eyes and stared at her, his breathing heavy.  He had fantasized about her so many times while alone on Mars, but it had never made him orgasm as great as that.

She reached out and placed a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him toward her.  He leaned down and rested his head on her chest.  She gently stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head.

“Forget all that loneliness.  If you ever feel lonely again, maybe you’ll think of me,” she whispered.  Her voice cracked as the tears slid down her cheeks.  “I’m so sorry I left you behind.”

"I'm glad I was left behind," he replied.

Her eyes narrowed with confusion.  "I don't..."

“I got to become a space pirate,” he said, completely serious.

She laughed, wiping her eyes.  “Yes, you have mentioned that a few times.”

“Wait a minute!”  He suddenly sat up.  He placed his hands on either side of her head against the mirror, so he could lean in and look her directly in the eyes.  “You mutinied!  So, first female space pirate.  We could team up? Conquer the galaxy.”

She rolled her eyes.  “I’m sure the legend of the botanist pirate is already feared through known space.”

“Hey, we’d make a good team,” he said.    

Her cheeks went pale, and she broke eye contact. 

Watney swallowed hard.  "Well, anyway, if I hadn't stayed on Mars... I wouldn't have you here in my room right now.  It was worth it," he said.  Laying his head back on her chest he closed his eyes, listening to her still-racing heart.  He sighed deeply, content. 

She began to stroke his hair absently.  She was exhausted, her body covered in a patina of sweat, her back aching from her uncomfortable position on the desk, and the pleasure she felt betrayed the lie – she was not in his room just because she’d left him on Mars, but at that moment she didn’t care.

In that quiet moment, his face pressed against her skin, the only sound their tired breathing the thought came back to him – the one Watney hadn’t even been able to escape on Mars, rather Mars had only reinforced it.  “Melissa, I…”

“No, Mark, please," she whispered into his hair, a tremor in her voice.  She knew what he wanted to say, and she desperately wanted to hear it but was equally terrified by it.

He looked up at her, staring into her red-rimmed eyes.  

"Don’t say it,” she said and kissed his forehead. She caressed his cheek, closed her eyes, and focused on the feel of his skin against hers.  “Let’s go to bed.  Just let me be here with you for tonight.”


	2. Chapter 2

Lewis lay in the darkness, her naked body pressed up against Watney.  Her head was resting on his chest, an arm draped across his stomach.  They’d been laying there for over an hour, quietly curled up together beneath the warmth of a couple of blankets.  The only light was the soft glow of the blue numbers from his alarm clock.  He had drifted off a couple of times but each time he woke up after a few minutes.  She was certain he was trying to keep himself awake, but both of them were too afraid to speak.

She couldn’t remember the last time she had been so relaxed; the sound of his breathing and the slight rise and fall of his chest were intoxicatingly simple.  These were things that she could focus on in the moment, thinking about anything beyond that small room was a alarming prospect she kept pushed to the back of her mind.   

“You told me once.  Tell me again, why you wanted to become a botanist,” she whispered finally, breaking the safety of the silence.

He smiled knowingly to himself.  “I know why you like that story.”

She rolled onto her stomach and propped her chin on her hands, so she could look him in the face, just barely able to make out his features in the clock’s blue glow.  “Oh, why is that?”

“Because, it makes me sound like a bigger nerd even than Johanssen.”

She laughed and shook her head.  “Not possible.”

“Oh,” he said with self-assurance, “challenge accepted.  You ready?”

She nodded, her face beaming with anticipation.  “Knock my socks off, Watney.”

He cleared his throat and looked into her eyes with a simmering intensity.  “’All about the pool into which the water subsided, grew various plants, and, in some instances, flowers gorgeously magnificent,’” he spoke with something akin to reverence, as if the words had some special meaning.  “’There was one shrub in particular, set in a marble vase in the midst of the pool, that bore a profusion of purple blossoms, each of which had the lustre and richness of a gem; and the whole together made a show so resplendent that it seemed enough to illuminate the garden, even had there been no sunshine.”

“That’s beautiful,” she said.  This was a side of him they didn’t see often, or that the others didn’t see anyway.  She knew this was a dangerous path to go down.  Talking was more dangerous for them than the sex.    

“I always loved plants.  Just thought they were cool as a kid.  You know?”

“So, you’re the annoying kid who always brought in the best leaf collection for science class and made the rest of us look bad?” she said accusingly.

“What can I say?  I’ve got mad skills when it comes to plants,” he admitted.  “Anyway, then in high school we read this story, “Rappaccini’s Daughter.”  Hawthorne.  I loved it!  He’s talking about this garden in the middle of this old city in this crumbling house, and it’s this hidden gem where natural beauty is thriving,” he said with some excitement in his voice that Lewis found irresistible.  He brushed some strands of hair back from her face and trailed his fingertips across her cheek and then her supple, pink lips.  “It just goes to show you, even in the most desolate and forgotten places, we can find beauty.  Man can’t make anything that outshines the beauty of nature.”

She blushed.  “What’s the story about?” she asked.

“Well, Rappaccini had grown this beautiful garden.  And a lot of the plants were poisonous. Smart, right?  So, his daughter, of course, grew up among these plants.  She wasn’t only immune to the poisons, but they became part of her.  Her lover, he grew ill from just a simple kiss.  He tried to cure her of the poison, so they could be together, but it killed her.  Her body had become reliant on the poison.”  He looked her in the eyes.  “Some things… once they’re a part of you, you can’t take them away.”

“Mark…”

“Anyway,” he continued as if she hadn’t spoken, “while I already wanted to go into botany, that story, it just kind’ve sealed it for me.  It was my ‘aha’ moment.  While it’s fiction sure, we’re connected to plants.  We need them.”  He shrugged.  “It sounds kind’ve stupid when I say it out loud.”

“You’re not a nerd,” she said teasingly.

“No?”

“No.”  She moved up and kissed him, a tender, slow kiss.  Then she gently stroked his hair, pressing her forehead to his.  “You’re a romantic.”

“I’ll take that,” he replied.  “Mark Watney… super-romantic.”

“I need to go soon,” she said, both relieved and saddened.  Deep down, something that started as a small spark of doubt had grown to something more and now she wondered if she could force herself to stick to her ‘just tonight’ rule.  She had never felt so out of control as she did when she was with him.  It was strangely liberating.

He lazily began to trail his fingers up and down her spine, making her shiver.  “It’s only about 0100.  You can stay a few more hours.  A few more hours… is an eternity in space.”

Laying her head back on his chest, she sighed and nuzzled up closer to him.  “A few more hours then, but you should get some sleep.”

He chuckled but it did little to mask the disappointment behind it.  “How?  This is the only time that I’ll ever have you here with me like this.  How can I waste time on sleep?”

“Then let’s not waste it on sleep,” she replied.  She deftly slid on top of him.  Placing her hands on his face she leaned down and kissed him again, sucking lightly on his lower lip.  Then she moved to his neck.

Watney’s entire body ached, and his heart beat loudly in his ears.  So far, he’d done well, better than he expected at resisting.  But she’d ground his resistance down, whether she intended or not. “I love you, Melissa.”

She put her hands on his chest and pushed herself up with sudden quickness.  She jumped out of the bed, her body shaking with anger and half a dozen other emotions that all came at her at once and went to the corner to retrieve her clothes, grabbing for them in the darkness.

“Damn it,” Mark muttered to himself and sat up in bed.  That was not the result he had been going for.  He reached over and hit the panel on his nightstand to activate the light.  “What are you doing?”

“I’m going back to my room.  Which is where I should’ve been this entire time.  What the hell was I thinking,” she replied as she began to get dressed.  “I made up this twisted excuse in my head for why it was ok for me to be here, and it was just stupid.”

“You’re not angry at me,” he explained to her. 

She laughed dismissively and shook her head, sliding her shirt on.  “You really think I don’t know what I’m angry at?”

“You need to think about why you’re angry,” he suggested.  He stood up from the bed and walked over to her.  “Maybe if you stop for a minute and just listen to yourself.  Just talk to me.”

She stopped and looked at him.  “There’s nothing to think about.  There’s nothing to say.  This was a mistake.  An enormous mistake.”

“Hmm, maybe you are angry at me,” he decided.

“Oh?”

“You’re angry, that I’m making you feel like a coward.”

“What the hell did you say to me?” she snapped back, her lip quivering.   

“You feel the same thing I do, but you’re mad at me because you don’t have the nerve to say it,” he replied.  “Damn, Melissa, you don’t even have the nerve to hear it.  So, it’s ok to come here and fuck me, but heaven forbid I tell how I feel about you.”

Her face was burning, and before she could stop herself she slapped him, leaving a red mark on his cheek.

He was completely taken aback and left speechless for a moment.  He could see the regret on her face, but he’d gotten the message.  He stepped back and raised his hands.  “Got it.  We’re clear now, Commander.”

What the hell had she just done?  She had never lost control of herself like that.  “Watney…,” she began, her voice softening.

He shook his head.  “Just go.”

“I’m…,” she began but didn’t know what to say.  She bundled up the rest of her clothes in her arms and went to the door.  She reached for the panel, then stopped, and leaned her head against the door.  “Mark, I’m sorry.”

Watney looked at her, her body shuddering as she began to sob.  At that moment, he wasn’t sure what to do.  He walked over behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders.

“You know… why I can’t say it,” she said through tears. 

“I know,” he said with understanding and kissed her shoulder.  “But you know why I had to.”

He coaxed her to turn around, and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him.

She collapsed against his chest and wrapped her arms around him.  He took her chin in his hand and tilted her head up so he could look in her eyes.  Tears stained her cheeks.  Brushing his thumb across her cheek, he wiped some of the tears away.

“Why are you crying?” he asked.    

“You know why,” she replied.  “This can’t end the way you want it to.  Or the way I want it to.”

He gave her a sad smile.  “Maybe, maybe not.  I’ll just have to see it through.”

“See it through?”

“I’m stubborn, Lewis.  I survived for over a year on Mars, in case you’ve forgotten.  I don’t give up easily.”

“You’ve always been a pain in the ass, Watney,” she said with just a slight smile.  “I guess I shouldn’t expect that to change.”

”But,” he said, his face serious, “if you tell me you don’t love me, then I’ll give up, and never bother you with this again.”

She opened her mouth, with full intention of saying it and putting an end to this - surely it would be such an easy thing to say.  Then she saw the way he looked at her, the way she felt with him, and all she could manage was, “I... hell.”


	3. Chapter 3

Watney swallowed hard, squared himself, and then knocked on Lewis’ door.  It had been two weeks since their night together in his room, and they hadn’t spoken of it since.  They’d done a good job of acting normal around the others but inside Watney was screaming in frustration.  He hadn’t bothered her, trying to focus on the mission at hand, but then he kept having the realization that they still had many, many months of space travel ahead, and it made the pretending difficult.  How the he could hell fake his feelings for that long? 

The door slid opened and Lewis stood there in her gray pajamas, no surprise on her face at seeing him.  She brushed back some strands of red hair that had fallen across her face.  “Watney,” she said simply.  “Is everything ok?”

He nodded and then looked at the floor nervously before meeting her gaze again.  “I just wanted to check on you.  You’ve been working yourself a lot these past two weeks.  I know that’s my fault.”

“Watney, I’m so tired.  I can’t do this.  We’re not doing this,” she said.  She sighed, closed her eyes, and rubbed her temple.  “This thing with us… it doesn’t fit.  You and I don’t fit.  It works for Beck and Johanssen.  For them it’s cute.  We’ve all had a good laugh on the ‘will they’ or ‘won’t they.’  Because, honestly, they fit together.”

He studied her for a moment and then opened his mouth to speak but no words were forthcoming.

She smiled sadly and reached out and squeezed his arm.  “Even if we did fit… the rules and regs… not mention my... baggage.  I don’t have time to deal with this.  I’m sorry I started this.  It is my fault.  I don’t blame you, Mark.”

“You’re not being fair,” he replied.  “I just wanted to check on you, Melissa.  I don’t want you working yourself so hard just so you can keep your mind busy.  I’m concerned.”

She gave him an understanding nod.  “And I believe that you believe that.  I do.  But it’s not your place to be concerned about me.  Not like this.”

Watney scoffed.  “That’s just silly.  We’re all a team.  We look out for each other.”

“But that’s not all of it.  You called me Melissa,” she reminded him.  “This is complicated.  I know that.  But you’ve convinced yourself that it’s ok for you to come to my room in the middle of the night, when you know it isn’t.  We have a mission.”

“I’m committed to our mission.”

“I know you are,” she said sincerely. 

His face was one of resignation.  “Look, I get it.  I am being an idiot.  You think I don’t know that?  You don’t want to be with me, and I…”

“I never said that,” she blurted out before her mind could stop it.  _Oh, damn._   All of the color drained from her face, and she cast her eyes to the floor.  How could he have this effect on her?

The look on his face changed – she wondered was it surprise, hope?

“But it’s not a question of ‘want’ here.  We have a mission to do.  You and I… it can only complicate things.  I care about you.  Far more than I should.  Maybe I…” 

“No, it’s ok,” he said.  “This is my fault, Commander.  I’ll… I, uh, won’t bother you with this again.  You have my word.”

“I don’t believe that, and if I can’t believe you, then I can’t trust you,” she replied.  Then she looked at him, unshed tears in her eyes.  “And I can’t trust myself.” 

He tapped his forefinger against his heart.  “This _was_ background noise.  All that time on Mars… I figured out the truth of how I felt about you, but I had a long time to convince myself that it had to be my secret.  Then you came and pulled it out of the background.  This isn’t something you can order away.  But   I’ll do my job.  You can trust that, even if you can’t trust me.  Maybe you need to ask yourself why you came to my room in the first place.”

“Why are you here, Mark?”

“I… uh… I can’t sleep,” he said with a shrug.  “I haven’t slept much lately.”

She studied his face.  Looking at him, she could see that he was indeed exhausted.  His face was pale, and he had rings under his eyes.  He was right; she’d been burying herself in work to try and not think about what had happened.  A pang of guilt struck her; this was her fault – much more hers than his. 

She sighed and peeked out into the hallway to make sure no one saw.  Then she motioned to him.  “Get in here before someone sees us.”

Watney nervously stepped inside.  “Sorry to wake you.”

She waved it off.  “No, I was just reading.  You do need to get some sleep.”

“I’ve tried,” he said. “I thought maybe if we talked...”

Letting out a heavy sigh, she walked over and climbed into her bunk and beneath the blankets.  She moved over as close to the wall as she could then pulled back the blankets and motioned with her head for him to lie down.

Hesitating just a moment, he then kicked his shoes off, walked over and climbed in next to her.  She hit a button on the wall by her head and the lights went out.

Rolling over onto his side with his back to her he pulled the blanket tightly to his chest.  Then he felt her move and her body press against him.  Draping an arm over him, she nuzzled her face against the back of his neck.

“Get some sleep, Mark,” she said gently.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice quiet.  “I know I shouldn’t have come to you.”

“No, but you’re here, and you do need sleep.  If this helps you sleep…”

“ _You_ help me sleep,” he interrupted her. 

She smiled in spite of her fierce attempt not to.  The truth was she hadn’t slept well either, and she had a terrifying suspicion that she would sleep better tonight.  This was only going to make things worse.  What the fuck was she doing she wondered to herself, but she had developed a weakness.  The smell of his hair, the feel of his breathing, his body pressed against her were all relaxing and soothing to her.

What she said next surprised her as much as it did him.  “I told him,” she whispered, her lips a hairs breadth from his neck.

Watney’s body tensed up, and she could feel his breathing become more rapid.

“He left,” she said simply.  It was true, that ever since she’d entered the Ares program, she and her husband had drifted further and further apart.  All that time apart hadn’t helped things.  Somedays she even wondered if they should’ve just ended it all before she’d left.  “We’re done.  It’s done.”

“Commander, I… I’m sorry,” he said.

“On the surface maybe you are,” she conceded.  “But deep down, I doubt it.  But it’s not your fault.  It was… a long time coming.  But I owed him the truth.  It wasn’t fair to make him wait a year to find out.”

“I should go,” he said and suddenly sat up and planted his feet on the floor.  “You need your space.”

She sat up and rested her chin on his shoulder.  “Oh, Mark, what the fuck are we going to do?”

He leaned his head to the side, pressing his head to hers.  “No clue.”

“But we both need some rest.  Real rest.  So, you’re here already.  Just stay,” she said.  “I want you to stay.”

He turned his body slightly, and then he tentatively reached up and cupped the side of her face, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb, drawing a slight smile from her.  He couldn’t see her smile in the darkness, but he could feel it.  “You are wrong about one thing.”

She furrowed her brow.  “What’s that?”

“We do fit together.”

She sighed and shrugged.  “We’ll see.”  She laid back down and Watney joined her. 

Rolling onto his side again, she pressed up against his back, her arm around his waist and they both soon drifted off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More in this chapter, the sex will probably tone down for the next couple of chapters as I focus more on their relationship and flashback to some things that happened on Mars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick update since I haven't posted in a while. Not completely happy with this chapter, so it may get more added onto it or be completely rewritten. Thanks for reading anyway! 
> 
> My other Martian stories will be getting updates soon.

Watney woke up in the middle of the night, the arm he was lying on fast asleep, and it hurt like hell.  Lewis was still pressed up against him, her arm around his waist, her breathing soft and regular, indicating she was fast asleep.  How was he going to move without waking her up?  He could try to suffer in silence, but there was no way he going to be able to go back to sleep with his entire arm tingling like he’d stuck a fork in an electric socket.

“Damn that hurts,” he groaned under his breath.

“Hmm?” Lewis moaned sleepily and pressed closer to him with a contented sigh. 

Damn it, she was even comfier now, but he couldn’t take it any longer.  Slowly, carefully he began to roll from his side to his back, but she was right against him, so he had nowhere to go.  Letting out a sigh of defeat he reached behind him with his free hand shook her.

“Ferrets, Mark.  The ferrets go in the basket,” she murmured.

Watney laughed with a confused look on his face and shook her again.

“Oh, what?” she asked with a yawn, blinking her eyes.  “Is it time to get up?”

“Not even close, but we need to readjust.  My arm’s asleep,” he explained.  “Sorry.”

“Is ok,” she mumbled and scooted back from him.

With extreme relief he rolled onto his back and stuck his arm straight up in the air, curling and uncurling his fingers, trying to coax feeling back into his muscles.  “What were you dreaming about?”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“You told me to put the ferrets in the basket,” he laughed.

She was glad it was dark so that he couldn’t see the red rising in her cheeks.  It was impossible to hide blushed cheeks being a pale redhead.  “Umm… I… I have no idea,” she had said with a giggle.

“Fair enough,” he said, continuing to work his arm.

Lewis, who was now slightly more awake, smiled at the small grunts of pain he made.  “You know, I’ve always thought, if we were created by a higher power, it’s some kind of practical joke that parts of our body can go to sleep.”

Watney chuckled in agreement.  “It’s a crime is what it is and completely unfair.”

“Well, they always tell us life isn’t fair,” she reminded him.

As the feeling slowly returned he rolled onto his other side, so that he was facing her, though he couldn’t see her in the darkness.  Reaching out, he moved his hand beneath the blanket until he found her hand, then he just rested his on top of it.  “Sometimes it is though.”

“Hmmm, maybe.”

“What about animals?”

Her forehead furrowed.  “What?”

“You think their legs ever to go to sleep?  I dunno, maybe you’re out walking in the woods and you see a raccoon running around in circles like crazy, dragging its rear legs, foaming at the mouth.  You think, ‘hell, poor thing has rabies or something.’  Nope, it’s just super-pissed that its leg has fallen asleep,” he said with pure amusement, clearly entertained by his idea.

“You’re so strange,” she replied with a chuckle.

“Maybe that’s why you love me,” he replied.

She was silent for a moment, focusing on the feeling of his thumb brushing back and forth across the back of her hand.  “Yeah, maybe it is.”

His thumb stopped moving, and he held his breath for half a second as his mind tried to work out if what he thought had just happened had actually happened.  He quickly convinced himself that, for the moment, it would be best not to draw attention to it.  “What about dolphins?  You think they’re just swimming around and suddenly, bam, fin is asleep.  Then they can’t swim for shit.”

She laughed again, thankful he’d let it slide by.  “Ohhh, what about a spider?  What if all eight legs go to sleep at the same time?”

“Damn.  Just squish me please,” he begged.  “My damn arm still hurts, can’t imagine having that feeling in all my limbs, especially if I have eight of them.  That and if I’m a spider I need to squished simply on principle.  What about a bird?  Do they just fall out of the sky?”

Lewis pouted.  “Oh no, I love birds.  I hope not.  Talking with you is never boring you know, though it is sometimes surreal.”

“That’s what I’m known for,” he said. 

There was a few moments of silence as they lay there in the darkness, each contemplating their current state.

“You know,” Watney began, “maybe we’re just making too much of this.”

Lewis’ heart beat heavy in her chest.

He turned his head to look at her.  “That didn’t sound right.  I just meant, maybe we’re worrying about nothing.  We’re some of the first humans to walk on Mars.  People always talk about how petty humanity’s problems really are in the grand scheme of the universe.  Well, we’ve lived it, out here in the void of space.  When you think of that vastness, who else gives a fuck if you and I end up together.  If it makes us happy, if it makes you happy, then who cares.”

“If only it was that simple,” she said with a smirk.  “You know it’s not.”

“Yeah, but it damn well should be,” he grumbled.

“Too bad real life doesn’t work that way,” she replied.  “Come here,” she said, her voice suddenly soft, inviting.

He moved across the small space closer to her and quickly captured her lips in a passionate kiss.  One of her hands went to the back of his head as she gently bit his lower lip.  Sliding his hand beneath her tank top, he ran his fingers lightly across her stomach, feeling the taut muscles beneath her soft skin.  She rolled onto her back, pulling her with him so as not to break their kiss.  Watney took advantage of her new position to move his hand down her stomach and beneath the band of her pajama bottoms.  Moaning into his mouth, she bucked her hips against his hand encouragingly as his fingers teased her lips.  Delicately he ran two fingertips up and down her slit until he could feel her wetness and then he pressed inside her.

“Mark,” she whimpered, closing her eyes as she focused on his fingers going deeper into her.  When she opened her eyes again, he was watching her, studying her face as he’d begun to slide his fingers in and out of her wetness.  She smiled and grabbed his t-shirt and began pulling at it, indicating to him that she wanted him on top of her. 

Slowly and deliberately his pulled his fingers from her, enjoying the little tics of pleasure she couldn’t hide on her face.  She pulled at his t-shirt again, and he was happy to oblige as he slid on top of her.  Leaning down, he kissed her as she pushed down his sweatpants and boxers.  Continuing to kiss her, he reached down to help her remove them, finally kicking them off his feet.  Then she lifted her butt of the bed so he could pull hers off and she kicked them into a pile at the foot of the bed.

Grabbing the straps of her tank top he pushed them impatiently from her shoulders and then pulled down the front of her tank top until her nipples were exposed to the cool air of the room.  He wrapped his mouth around her breast, sucking it tenderly, running his tongue across her hard, pink nipple.

She pressed her hand against the back of his head and arched her back at the feeling of his tongue on her skin.  His mouth was warm and eager as he devoted his complete attention to her breast.  A spark shot from her chest down between her thighs and she cried out when he sucked her nipple between his teeth. 

Releasing her breast, he moved up to kiss her again.  She sucked on his tongue when he pressed it into her waiting mouth.  He pressed his body firmly against hers.  She reached down and grabbed his now very hard cock, which drew a moan of appreciation from him, and guided it to her.  She was wet but very tight, so he carefully and slowly worked his cock inside her.    Moaning softly, she slid her hands beneath his t-shirt, trailing her nails along his back.  With measured movements he moved in and out of her, each time pushing a bit deeper inside as she stretched around him.

He moved his attention from her mouth to her neck, sucking gently at the sensitive skin there.  When he was finally completely inside her, she wrapped her legs around his, trying to pull him as deep into her as she could.

“Just stop a second,” she said, her voice aching.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, pressing his forehead to hers.

She shook her head and reached up to stroke the side of his face.  His skin was perfectly rough from a couple of days not having shaved.  “Nothing.  I just want to feel you inside me for a moment.”

He smiled broadly and kissed her again.  In that moment, he knew she was right.  His being ‘sorry’ at what had happened only went so far before it turned into… relief, hope. 

“Now, make love to me, Mark,” she whispered and tightened her legs around him as he began to slide in and out of her again.

She mewled with little bursts of pleasure as he filled her, a sound that made him even more desperate for her. 

“You feel fucking amazing, Melissa,” he said, his voice deepened by his desire and need for her.  Burying his face against her neck, he kissed her, biting eagerly along her neck and shoulder as that spark of ecstasy began to build inside him.  He began to thrust into her faster, pulling nearly completely out of her before pushing back in.

Lewis bit her lower lip when her body suddenly tensed up as Mark pushed into her again.  Stealing a move from him, she bit into his shoulder, harder than she meant causing him to yelp, as she came, moaning as her body shook from the small undulating waves that ran through her muscles.  He began to push even harder as she throbbed around his cock, tightening when she came.

“Damn, Melissa,” he moaned breathlessly as he came, crushing his body against her, digging his fingers into the bed.  He continued to pump into her as he filled her, rocking his hips until he had burnt the last bit of energy he had and collapsed on her, his breathing ragged, and the ache in his body subsiding.

“So much for just once,” she said, her heart pounding in her chest.  “Usually, I’m good at following the rules.”

Watney smiled to himself.  “I’m not.”


End file.
